That sinking feeling

Today, it's more appropriate that the 'joy' be taken from my name.
Today, I am simply, a big fish.

About a week ago, I was still very much excited in anticipation of my graduation ceremony in June. As immature as this may seem, that stupid square hat and awful grad photos actually hold a power over me. It just makes me feel like I've accomplished a milestone and that job offers will overwhelm me because I'm now a graduate.

I guess we all have days where we feel like we're on top of the world one minute until we realize the top of our world is simultaneously the footstool of giants in 'the real world.' If you haven't already guessed what brings me down and makes me worried, I'll be blunt: unemployment post graduation.

It seems ironic doesn't it, that only a generation ago somebody with a bachelor's would have no fear about providing for a family, etc. and yet now, a lot of my friends are talking about doing a Master's just to upgrade their education and gain 'an edge' for better pay. As much as I 'love' education, the thought of spending another oh, $50,000 is not appealing what-so-ev-er.

Anyway, I just feel all around 'blah' today...much like a dust ball that's just being blown this way and that, with little strength to hold on strongly because my confidence just isn't there.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not about to give up on school or job searching (I mean, what's a little trial-and-error when I'm only in my twenties?) but the point of this post I guess is a selfish one.

I wanted to rant and remind myself that it's okay to be human, that in fact most of us are, and that on these 'downer days' there is absolutely nothing wrong with cuddling into the warm sheets of a bed, reading my favorite book to recharge for the brighter tomorrow.